The Not-So-Divine Secrets of -Motherhood-

Daddy's Helper-Helper

The fridge in our rental was leaking so my husband set out to fix it. Along the way he acquired a helper-helper. And in case you can't see that well, she isn't standing nearby, she is actually sitting on him as he works. No wonder we don't get anything done around here!

Look at These Faces

You know- I really have been so consumed that my blogging has really suffered. First it was consumed with buying a short sale. Then moving into a short term rental. Then trying to find a bank owned home instead of a short sale. And finally, closing my branch and relocating. Actually, this last piece isn't done yet and will likely consume me for the next two months.

But in the mean time I figured maybe I better show you how stinkin' cute these little faces are- and I guess maybe then you will know why I am going through the absolute hell I am going through right now.

THE News

Well, it is official. I can finally share our news- the reason I have been so distracted for the last few weeks. And before you wonder too much- I am not pregnant.

We are relocating.

It's very overwhelming actually. See, we thought that everything fell into place just perfect with us writing the contract on that BofA short sale, found tenants for our home, and found a short term rental so that we could be free to close on the short sale any time. I have said before and will say it again- I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Apparently the reason behind all of this was not that we would ever get that big house with a basement- but more that we would be free to be able to relocate in order to preserve our jobs.

It all went a little something like this:

In January of this year we went to a big corporate meeting. They told us that they didn't want to centralize our processing centers but that we all needed to work really hard to keep our numbers in line with corporate expectations. Work hard we did! Then about four months ago we heard that they were again considering centralizing the operations but that specifically our district might get a break if we were able to keep our numbers in line and reduce our errors. Work harder we did! Then about a month ago we got word that they were still considering this centralization. I put together reports and this nice little summary about why my branch should be protected. Unfortunately, the decisions had already been made and my branch was idenitifed as one that will be consolidating with a larger branch.

So the last few weeks have been, well, rough to say the least. First of all because even though I had this knowledge I was not permitted to share it with my employees. You try walking around facing your people every day knowing that by December 31st we are all going to be out of a job. Second we have all our eggs in this basket. Both my husband and I work for the same company. The real dilemma was that although the operations department was consolidating- his department was not so he will still have a job here. And lastly- we always said we never wanted to raise our children in this city- but the question of the day is, what city then DO we want to raise them in?

We narrowed it down to Phoenix and Dallas. Both are attractive to us for various reasons, and also both are a little daunting. There is just so much going on in both- and what the heck is with the commute and traffic? We just got back from Phoenix last night and the vote is in- we are moving to Phoenix.

I'm excited. Scared. A little sad to leave Las Vegas as I have been here for twenty years. Tired just thinking about packing up all of our stuff for an interstate move. Distressed at the thought that this is all happening during the holidays. Bummed because it means we are not going to be settled permanently- at least not for another six or eight months- because we are not going to jump in and buy a house immediately until we really get to know the greater Phoenix area.

We can't wait though to get to Phoenix- for all the things it has that Vegas doesn't. Professional sports events. IKEA. Chick Fil A. Lottery tickets. Fruit trees like crazy- can you believe that citrus grows like wild there?

I have been bursting to blog about all of this- it really is too much to keep a secret. Unfortunately I couldn't- because I have no idea which of my friends and family read my blog and also because from a corporate perspective we had not been given permission to tell our employees.

So from a timeline perspective- my branch will be ceasing operations on December 31st. I am in negotiations to relocate to the Phoenix office and it sounds like they want me to start working there by December 1st and commute back to my branch at least two days a week until the end of the year. Looks like we might be moving within the next 30 days- but definitely within the next 45 as I really want to move before Christmas. I will hate living out of boxes but I would hate having my kids open their Christmas gifts only to tell them to pack them in the moving truck as we are pulling out.

I will try to keep you all updated- at least as best as possible. Was this the news you were expecting?

If you think I've dropped off the face of the Earth...

If you were beginning to think I have dropped off the face of the Earth you might be right. Aside from using dial up internet and all this house craziness I just have not had the time or energy to blog. There are lots of other things going on around here right now- none of which I am at liberty to blog about yet but I am hoping to have the freedom to do so sometime this week.

Incidentally, we are taking the kids to Scottsdale next weekend for fun so we can bring our computer and use all the high speed internet our 48 hours will buy us.

I'm sorry- I really, REALLY want to blog about what has kept me from blogging but I can't. They might kill me. As soon as I know the coast is clear you bet I will be here first. Check in toward the end of the week if you can.

 

Dial-Up Still Exists?

Where, oh where do I start?

We moved into our short term rental back in August. We were disappointed to hear that our high-speed internet carrier did not provide service to this address but figured we could get by- you know, using Blackberries and borrowing a moment of internet here or there from someone broadcasting.

I know, I know, it was wrong to borrow someone's internet without their permission. We assumed it was acceptable to borrow, otherwise they would have put a security password on it, right?

So when I say that we could only borrow it for a moment here or there what I meant was that the connection would usually fail about ten minutes after you got online.

My husband decided that we would no longer rely on someone else to provide our internet. We would get dial-up.

Can you believe that you can get dial-up for only five bucks a month? Me either! I want to know why they are even charging five bucks for this! Why isn't it just free? It is going to take me all night just to blog this one flippin' post!

If you are in internet addict and are looking for a way to break your addiction, just buy dial- up. It will no doubt cure your addiction. You will get so frustrated you will just shut it off and watch re-runs of Deadliest Catch.

Don't be surprised if you see even less of me now than you saw before.

 

Dear Similac,

Dear Similac,

Three years ago you sent my wife a sample package. It was nice, it included some formula, some coupons, and an insulated bottle storage travel bag.

This insulated bottle storage bag has by far been the best free gift we were given when we had a baby. You might think that we had outgrown the need for the insulated baby bottle bag, but I will assure you, I have put it to use every single Sunday.

You see, it also is the perfect size for three cans of beer and stows nicely in my golf bag.

The problem? The problem is that some hooligans took it upon themselves to steal it from our wagon while we were at the park with the kids today. (Never you mind asking why I had it in the wagon with a couple of beers at the park).

I would like to know if there is any way to obtain a free replacement bag? It never bothered me to flash "Similac" whenever I unzipped the lid. None of my friends seemed bothered by the fact that I was able to keep a few extra beers handy in my golf bag. I think I might have been the hero on the course a time or two due to the handy dandy insulated storage bag.

Please let me know how to go about requesting an additional insulated milk storage bag. I would offer to have another kid so I can get more free samples but that just isn't going to work for us.

Anxiously awaiting your reply,

Golfer-Run-Dry In The Desert

 

**Ghost written for my loving husband**

Reflections on the NICU

How appropriate that today, of all days, the hospital held their annual NICU Reunion.

One year ago, today, we got to bring Baby Sam home. You might remember, she was there ten days. You also might remember, I was a wreck. Beyond a wreck, I was barely functioning. It was ten days of pure Hell.

The day I brought her home, the 27th of September, was the greatest day of my life.

We aren't very good about opening our mail. If it appears to be any form of junk mail I typically rip it right in half before ever opening it. Either that, or it goes straight in the shredder. So when we received a piece of mail from the hospital (and it didn't resemble a bill) I left it on the counter and forgot about it. Fast forward a couple of weeks and as I sorted the mail I realized I never opened it.

Friday night when I opened the envelope it had a card inside. An invitation to an annual NICU Reunion. I already threw it out so I can't quote exactly, but it said something to the effect that by having had a premature baby we joined an elite group of parents that will share a lifelong bond. That hit me right between the eyes. I knew instantly that I wanted to take Sam back. I called even though it was well past the RSVP date and asked if we could still attend.

Lucky for us- we could. I had often wanted to drop a line to the NICU nurses to let them know that time had healed my hatred. It hasn't healed my heart though- and I still have tears after re-reading my blog about my pre-term labor and Sam's stay in the NICU. And also I must say, I really wanted to take Sam back so they could see what a beautiful, healthy child she is.

The first person we saw there was the doctor responsible for discharging her. I love that woman. She took photos of Sam (even if she doesn't remember her). We also saw the counselor that spent much time trying to talk me through my depression. I didn’t care much for her while I was going through the heartache but today when I looked at her I felt guilty for taking out so much of my anger on her. We saw one of the nurses that was often on duty while we were there and she took one look at Sam and said she actually looked the same as when she was there. Which is true- the only thing about Sam that has changed has her eyelashes have grown in.

We sat at a table with other NICU parents- some whose children stayed four times as long as Sam. Some who had multiple premature births and therefore went through the NICU experience more than once. Some whose children are not healthy. It was a real eye opener.

I have a beautiful baby girl. She really isn’t a baby anymore- as she is walking, and starting to talk, and growing up right before our very eyes. I was glad to have been invited to the NICU Reunion and I know that I will make the time to go back every year that I receive the invite.

It has also reminded me that I have unfinished business to attend to. The blanket that I began knitting months and months ago needs to be finished. I would like to write a letter to the staff of the NICU and thank them for the kind things they did while Sam was there but that I refused to see. And it reminded me again that I need to be thankful- ever so thankful- for my beautiful little girl that is healthy and strong.

Without a Doubt...

We absolutely made the right decision with moving Hayley to another pre-school. We took her to tour the new school Friday afternoon before we take her there on Monday and when we walked in the door the director greeted her by name right off the bat.

I love that.

You should have seen the look on Hayley's face when we toured her classroom. It was actually after "school" was over for the day so the children that are there for extended care were already moved to another area but Hayley looked around her classroom in wonder at all the art, colors, and toys they had there. I was excited for her just by watching how excited she was!

We walked through the entire school and showed Hayley the awesome playground this new school has. The old school had not one patch of grass for the older kids to play on- there was only a small grass area for the babies. The new school has several grassy areas, a sandbox to die for, and lots of playground equipment. There are also tricycles for the kids to ride on recess. When we left my heart was full. I knew that the circumstances that brought us to this school were just meant to be.

Which leads me to my next realization. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I was heartbroken over the situation with Ms. G but it spurred me into action and look- my child is actually going to be in a better place than before. It is tough sometimes to understand why things happen- but once they are done we all go through that "aha!" moment.

Oh yes, now I see the big picture!

Update to the Child Safety Issue

For those that are wondering the prognosis just was not good for Ms. G. It never was but they did placate me momentarily by telling me they would run it up the flagpole.

I was notified about the incident on Wednesday morning. By noon on Wednesday I sent an e-mail to the director asking her to please ask the district manager to reconsider. Wednesday afternoon around 3pm I called and asked for the director but was told she was not in the office and would return my call. Wednesday afternoon when I picked Hayley up around 4:30 I asked for the director and was told she was conducting a tour and unavailable. I was told she did receive my e-mail earlier in the day and also did speak with the district manager. I left a message with the two administrators that were present to please have her call me.

Thursday I left well enough alone. I did not hear from the director.

Friday I was fed up. I e-mailed her and told her that I knew she was busy preparing for Open House that night but that I wanted to speak with her. I asked what time I could come by. She did not reply.

Friday night at Open House she pretended nothing had occurred. I did not press the issue as it was neither the time nor the place. I figured I would give her until Monday to reply to me. While we were at the open house I had an opportunity to speak with Hayley's other teacher who confirmed what I already suspected- politics were in play and we were the unsuspecting victims. The reason she was even terminated was because there was another administrator in the building that took it upon them-self to run to the phone and call the director to report the violation instead of to run and check on the safety of the children. I had e-mailed the director on Friday asking if another employee was aware of the safety violation why did they not attend to the children and why were they not also terminated but of course there was no reply.

Monday I had no response whatsoever. Monday morning I called the customer care center and asked for them to elevate me directly to the district manager. I was told I would have a response from that person within two business days. Monday afternoon I toured another pre-school and committed to enroll Hayley the following Monday.

This morning (Tuesday) I called the customer care center and requested the steps to dis-enroll my child from their learning facility. I was informed I would need to write up my request and submit it with two weeks notice. I was halfway through my written request when I received a call from the director. It went a little something like this:

"Jenn? This is Miss Director. I'm sorry I haven't called sooner but I did not get everything cleared though HR until just last night. Unfortunately the termination stands."

"Well, Miss Director, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not surprised. Unfortunately I wish you had called me to tell me that you had no news on this or were still working on it last week when I sent you multiple e-mails and left you multiple messages. I regret to inform you that we are withdrawing Hayley from your school. I will be bringing her written withdrawal request by today."

Audible pause.

Miss Director "Well, I guess I don't understand. I feel like Hayley has really flourished here at our facility."

Umm, yeah. Under the teacher that you FIRED. My response was "Yes, well, there is no doubt that Hayley has been happy but I simply can't get caught up in your corporate bureaucracy. We have decided to enroll Hayley in a locally owned and operated school where if I need to speak with a decision maker I may do so in a timely manner. One week to get a reply that I knew was coming just doesn't work for me. Sadly if you had just called me last week to tell me you acknowledged my e-mails and messages this might have been different. That's too bad because we really liked you Miss Director, you have done quite a bit with the school in just the few short weeks that you have been there. It's nothing personal you see, it's just a business decision we are making."

"Well. I see. If you change your mind please let us know."

 

Right.

So for all those that maybe didn't comment, or may not agree with me on this issue- I want to state for the record- I am not withdrawing my child because I disagree with the teachers termination. I am withdrawing my child because the administrator does not know how to deal with conflict. Apparently I created too much conflict for her and she either didn't want to or didn't know how to deal with it so she swept me under the rug. Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

Also for the record I do know that I will not always have the option of withdrawing my child if I disagree with the teacher or the management style of the administration. However, in THIS case I do have the option. And in THIS case I absolutely feel it is warranted.

Why do I feel that? Because let's just say for example I disagreed with something the administration was doing. Let's say that I expressed my concern to the administrator. Do I think that she wouldn't do the same thing to me the next time around? Ignore me for a week until she was ready to talk to me? Run to the district manager for cover?

I am a manager myself. I manage in a corporation. Sometimes policies get handed down that I don't necessarily agree with but have to enforce anyway. If anything, I GET her position more than others. But also, as unpopular as it sometimes makes me I have to tell people the truth. I have to tell them things they don't want to hear, like, I don't have an answer for you today. I might not have one for you tomorrow either. I would hope that somewhere along the way this has earned me respect in my industry. People that work with me know I will tell them the truth. They know that I am working my hardest and that I really am on their side even if sometimes I have no control over the outcome of the situation. And because I happen to manage to this expectation I also have the expectation that I will also be treated this way. Unfortunately I don't have the confidence that this is an isolated incident and therefore I made the decision to remove myself from the drama.

Agree? Disagree? Your opinion will be respected either way, so you may leave a comment without fear of retribution.

Dear Samantha,

September 17th, 2009

My Dearest Samantha,

Today you are one year old. This time one year ago your Dada and I were admitted to the hospital just waiting for the OR to open up so Mommy could deliver you. We were nervous, excited to finally meet you even if it was early, and scared to death.

We never found out if you were a boy or girl but we both knew somehow you were going to be a girl. Your Dada picked out your name long before you were ever born. Samantha Jayne.

You might think that operating rooms are very serious business. I was surprised both times that I delivered to find that there was music playing in the background and much conversation about where the doctors had been on vacation and the latest conference they would be attending. I will forever remember that the moment you were born there was a Kid Rock song playing the background- every single time I hear it on the radio I just know it is Sam's song.

I was so happy to hear your healthy cry that I cried too. I didn't even get to find out if you were a boy or girl until they were just about to take you off to the NICU. I guess these days everyone finds out what they are having ahead of time and need no reaffirmation when the baby actually gets here. We just loved being surprised.

Sam, it was the hardest thing Mommy has ever done to leave you in the NICU. I hope you never, ever have to go through that. All I wanted to do was hold you and snuggle you but the rules were the rules and you were so tiny that we had to let you get your rest.

For coming six weeks early you were pretty healthy. Five pounds three ounces! You made Mommy so proud. You are our little blondie. Did you know that both Mommy and Dada had blonde hair when we were little babies?

This past year you have amazed us with your will and determination. For the first few months you were developmentally about six weeks behind- which was to be expected. The pediatrician warned us to expect that until at least your first birthday. But just as you decided to make your grand entrance on your own time you also have met all of your milestones on your own time. Right around five and a half months old (technically four months) you caught right up with the regular babies and haven't looked back!

You started walking about a week ago. You walk best when you aren't putting any thought into it. As soon as you realize you are walking though you quickly bend back down to your knees and crawl.

You have the cutest giggle I have ever heard. Your sister makes you laugh so hard- no one else can get you to laugh like Hayley can. And the two of you give each other hugs and kisses all the time. (when you aren't hitting each other). It makes Mommy's heart sing to see the love that you share.

We have been so very blessed to have you in our lives. You are so healthy, and so loved. I just know that you are going to grow into a beautiful young woman one day and as much as I want you to stay my little baby forever I also cannot wait to see the beautiful young woman that you will become.

Happy First Birthday baby girl!

Love, Mommy

There's a strange rash going around?

On Monday I received a phone call at work from Sam's babysitter. Sam had a little fever. We talked about giving her some Tylenol, laying her down for a nap, and calling me back if the situation worsened. Luckily, it did not. We thought nothing more of it.

Tuesday night when I picked Sam up from the babysitter she had this little rash of tiny red dots. Mostly it was on her head and neck. I didn't think much of it- the babysitter mentioned that they had been outdoors and it could easily have been heat rash.

Wednesday morning when she woke up she was covered in it so I took her to the pediatrician. He could not find anything in particular wrong with her, and recommended Benadryl as needed if she seemed bothered by it. Away we went.

Tonight my husband was putting Hayley to bed and he asked me about her rash.

Rash? What rash on Hayley?

He says, "the one on her face- it looks a bit like Sam's." Of course I go running in there.

Yep, looks like she has this little rash starting around her mouth and chin. My husband rubs his hand over it. Then he licks a finger and rubs the rash. He asks Hayley "What have you been eating?"

She says "gum".

Well. Good to know that the rash wasn't contagious. And where on earth did the child get gum? (After she had dinner and a bath no less?)

Child Safety at Day Care

Yesterday when I was picking Hayley up from pre-school there was a little boy in her class that had pooped his pants. He was crying and getting even more distraught because he was trying to leave the classroom and couldn't get out. He's three. He was embarassed I am sure.

The teacher asked me to stay with the children for a moment and she walked him over to the two year old room which is where they are required to change "soiled" pants. She was gone two, maybe three minutes. She apologized when she returned and I thought nothing of it.

This morning I got a phone call from the school administrator. She wanted me to know personally before I picked up Hayley from school that unfortunately the teacher having left the children unattended with me was a violation of company safety procedures and they fired the teacher.

I am completely overwhelmed by this. I understand wholeheartedly that rules are made specifically for the safety of our children. I also understand that if I was an unsavory parent, an abusive parent, or a pedophile that even that few minutes could have been dangerous for the children in the room. As the administrator pointed out, the school does not background check the parents.

But I am just not able to accept this termination without asking them to reconsider it. First of all, we absolutely love this teacher. LOVE HER.  I am saddened for the loss that the children will experience as well as I know my little Hayley has grown attached to Mrs. G and that this is going to be hard.

I was so upset by this phone call that I cried all day. I even left work immediately after receiving the call, drove to the pre-school and talked with the administrator in person. I asked her if she would ask the district manager if myself and the parents of the other four children left unattended were to write letters acknowledging that the teacher violated company policy and was being given final warning would they reinstate her instead of terminating her.

I wrote an e-mail. I called. I asked again when I picked Hayley up at the end of the day and I haven't heard anything back which leads me to believe this is all falling on deaf ears. I have even suggested to them that I will make myself available to every single parent (whether their children were involved or not) to explain the situation and my stance on why this teacher should be allowed a second chance. I also told them that if the parents of the other four children did not agree with allowing the teacher a second chance I would respect their choice and not pursue this.

But can I just ask? If you were one of the other children's parents how would you feel about this? If the incident was explained to you and you had an opportunity to talk to the parent that was there would you do it? Would you want to save a teacher's job over this or are you a "by the rules" kind of person?

I mean, I am just so torn. I completely understand that the rules are made to protect our children. My children. That heaven forbid- but if this had happened and I wasn't the parent I would want to know that disciplinary action was taken. But I also like to believe that I am a person of reason- and that the punishment should fit the crime. If the teacher left a roomful of children unattended so she could make a personal phone call... If the teacher asked the UPS guy to real quick stay with the kids while she ran to the bathroom... I mean, I also would like to think if a situation like this happened, and I wasn't the parent involved but I had the opportunity to talk with the parent involved I would like that chance to have the conversation and make my own judgement about how unsafe I felt the situation was.

Really, what would you do? It brings tears to my eyes even after ten hours to think that a loving teacher was terminated for trying to do the right thing for a child that was completely distraught. I think it was a reaction and not intentionally putting the other children at risk.

For the record, the school policy was that the teacher was to stand at the door of her room and call out to the administrator in the office at the front to come and attend the kids while she left the room. Or the teacher was to ask me to go tell the administrator on my way out.

I'm sad. Very, very sad for this teacher that we loved so much and are so powerless to help.

I am how old again?

I turned thirty four last week. Thirty four. I don't feel old and I'm not one of those anti-aging people. So far every year I have lived has been better than the last and I'm not about to wish for anything other than a longer and continuously healthy life.

But some days I wonder, I am how old again? I mean, I was just thinking it should be time for The Late Show to come on and I looked over at the clock. Is it really only 8:03? I am completely exhausted! I can't believe it is only eight pm!

When did my body start to betray me like this? I mean, I never was a night owl to begin with. My husband and his best friend used to tease me when I was pregnant that I would head off to bed at 6pm, which I did. But can you blame me? I was pregnant after all!

Now that we have kids I don't have the luxury of coming home and heading off to bed if I have had a bone-tiring day. I have to get dinner on the table, baths, and bedtime stories. After that I have to get the dishwasher unloaded from the night before, loaded again and started, the diaper bag packed for the next day, and some nights I need to do laundry or tidy up the house. Oh yeah- and I always have to have time to blog or read blogs. (A girl's gotta have her priorities!)

Consequently that means that some nights after I do my chores and sit down for a quick surf on the internet it turns into 10 or 11pm before I realize the night has disappeared and the sunrise is coming faster than I am prepared for.

Now I understand why even as we got older my parents always insisted that we hit the sack no later than 8:30. It wasn't completely about us needing ten hours of sleep at night as much as it was probably that they just needed the down time before they went to bed themselves.

So I must say, tonight I am going to skip catching up on blogs. I am going to forgo posting on my other blog. I am going to pass on Facebooking and I am going to head to bed. I might not go to sleep (depending on what is stored up on Tivo) but at least I will be in the right place in case my body does decide to win the sleep fight.

And maybe tomorrow when I wake up I will feel much younger than I do tonight.

Planning a birthday party for a one year old

One day I will learn not to compare my two children. Likely that day will come when they want to compare each other and I have to tell them that they can't because they are two different children. Until then I will not practice what I preach.

It seems so odd to me that with first children things are just so, well, first. We were in a hurry for Hayley to do everything- roll over, walk, talk, everything. And with Sam- not so much. I want her to stay "baby" just as long as possible, especially since she is our last.

With Hayley I started planning her first birthday party like four months in advance. My mother in law and I handmade seventy birthday invitations. It was all done up in a princess theme and she had a birthday cake to die for. I meticulously planned every single detail and obsessed over it for weeks before the big day. On her actual birthday party day I was a little disappointed that she wasn't totally into opening presents and mostly the gifts were shredded by other kids attending the party. I tried to have someone keep a list for me to write thank you notes and still I wound up afterward with a few gifts that I had no idea where they came from. A few people got very generic thank you notes as in, "thank you for the gift, Hayley is going to have so much fun with it!". Overall the party was fun but I can't remember what I spent so much time planning?

With Sam? Well, we have been so consumed by our housing situation I have done none of that. Also not to mention that my sister and her partner's baby will also be one just two days after Sam. Originally we were planning to do parties on separate weekends and then we decided to do it all as one big party. So knowing that it is their baby's first birthday and remembering how much effort goes into a first birthday I have been content to sit back and let them do the agonizing.

Not because I don't care as much about Sam (I DO!) or because I don't care about planning (I DO!) but because I remember that much like a wedding, the day just goes too fast to stress over the smallest details like how many varieties of chips to offer with the sandwiches for lunch. I look back on photos of my first birthday and the only photos that even mattered were of me wearing my cake.

So as of right now my big plan for Sam's birthday is to worry about her own personal cake. Where to buy it, what kind to get, and what it will look like. In my opinion, as long as we have a bouncy house for the kids, food, and our friends attending then the party will be just fine. If you are planning a first birthday by all means, stress all you need to. Get it out of your system. The party will be fine. The kid won't even remember it. The photos are what count (as my sister told me last night) so just have fun!

Dear Samantha,

September 8th, 2009

My dear sweet little Peanut,

You are nine days away from your first birthday. Nine days? Somewhere between six and a half months old and now your little personality has kicked it into high gear. You smile all the time and have the cutest little giggle I have ever heard. Actually your giggle is like music to Mommy's ears because it took you so long to finally let it go.

Yesterday you started walking. At first you took just three unsteady steps to Mommy and I scooped you up, twirled you around and laughed with joy. The look on your face was sheer surprise. Then I ran to the bedroom so you could show Dada your new trick. You did it for him too- and then did it again for me. By nighttime last night you were walking five or six steps and are so happy and proud of yourself.

I must say- we are so very proud of you also. Technically you are only ten and a half months old right now so this is quite the accomplishment! We were prepared for you to be a bit developmentally behind but quite honestly you have been right on track with just about everything. I think that Nurse Karen was definitely right when she said she thought you looked very smart.

You are also talking much more now. You say Dada very well. Sometimes you say Mama but I don't know that you are saying it specifically to call me yet. You said "hi"! to Dada one morning. But now you have learned your first word that has meaning and just like your sister, your first real word was "uh-oh"!

You practiced it all day yesterday- it was so cute. You would throw your cup on the floor and then say "uh-oh". Hayley was so patient and played your game- always bringing your cup right back to you.

You are just the sweetest baby- giving kisses to everyone and everything. I love that you are still my little snuggle bug- sometimes you will just cuddle up with Mommy and put your head on my shoulder. I live for those little moments because I know all too soon you will be doing like Hayley and wiping my kisses off.

In a little over a week we will be celebrating your first birthday. We will be celebrating all the joy you have brought into our lives, and we will be celebrating what a beautiful child you are. We are just so very blessed to have been given the opportunity to love you and raise you. I hope that someday you know and understand just how very much we adore you!

Love, Mommy

WTF??

I know I promised I was going to keep the short sale stuff separate from my Mommy Blog but I am so ripped off right now I am posting this everywhere I can find- including the back of my bathroom door.

WTF???

As in, what the....??? You get my point.

We got an update today from CWY Holdings (DBA Complete Short Sale Processors) and here was the update:

"This is still in Phase 1. A request to escalate to Phase 2 was made on August 31. It has until September 11 to be carried out. The CSR told me that there is a sale date of September 23."

I am so mad I am shaking. We were told way back in July that this file had moved into Phase 2 with Countrywide/Bank of America. We made decisions based upon the information we had been given by this short sale processing company (a third party short sale negotiation team that the listing agent has hired). We moved out of our home and rented it to tenants for the next two years. We moved into a short term rental. We have incurred thousands of dollars in moving expenses and storage fees.

Originally I was the optimist about this. I believe I made a comment to the effect that we had lots of qualified people all working on our team to get this short sale closed. I have since reconsidered. Instead I feel that CWY Holdings LLC (DBA Complete Short Sale Processors) is a farce. They are good at selling their product- but their product is inept customer service. If you are looking for inconsistent information, inefficient follow up, and to get the plain run-around I can say with certainty that you will find it there.

If you think I am angry you are absolutely right. I am beyond angry. I am the kind of person that takes accountability for my actions and therefore I expect that others will as well. I want to know what CWY is going to do to make this right?

We are one week shy of being 120 days into contract. We were told almost 60 days ago that we had moved to phase 2 and that was why we proceeded to rent our home out. He we are almost two months later being told that we actually are only in phase 1? And that there is a sale date on the home we are buying? Yet no Notice of Default has actually been filed? Two weeks ago when the processor from CWY told us that there was a sale date set for September 23rd he quickly retracted when my agent asked him about it. He indicated he had been given false information from the CSR. And yet, he gets the same information today, updates the notes with it, and proceeds?

If my name has not already been seared into the memories of all of the people working at CWY Holdings LLC then it soon will be. I have held off publishing their name for just as long as I could- because I honestly wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. But all I have to say is that as of right this minute it is GAME ON.

I understand that the short sale process is done at the mercy of the bank. I understand that CWY does not dictate the timelines nor do they have any control over them. But they absolutely have control over the information they obtain, how they obtain that information, and the information they disperse to all parties. In my opinion they have not obtained accurate information nor have they made the effort once we pointed out the inaccuracies to get to the bottom of them. They have repeatedly given us bad information (sale date set for September 23) and they have passed us along from person to person as apparently no one there really wants to deal with us.

My suggestion to CWY Holdings LLC? Deal with me. Get me out of your life. Do your job. Do it right. Stop avoiding the things you are doing wrong. Take accountability. Work on your customer service and stop being so worried about selling this awesome QuickBase database that you are working so hard to promote. Seriously. QuickBase is only as good as the notes you put into it.

I think I would much rather have had the listing agent or someone on their team working this file directly. The whole point of this "Complete Short Sale Processors" company is to free up the listing agent's time to go list more properties. Short sales I presume! I am about one breath away from resorting to name calling so I suppose I will end this post right now.

On an end note I will say one thing- this is not the last they have heard from me.

Children really don't lie

It all started about three or four days ago- I guess it was Sunday. Hayley woke up with extreme nasal congestion and when I walked out for the morning paper I could see that our entire street was blanketed in smoke from the wildfires in California.

We have run the kids humidifiers every night and have given them saline spray to no avail. Today when Hayley woke up she just didn't seem to be herself. First of all we thought maybe she had pink-eye because here eye was, well, pink. Although not all of it- and there was no gunk. We put in the precautionary drops and decided to keep her home from daycare.

By noon she was as rambunctious as ever, her eyes were perfectly clear and her nasal congestion seemed to be on the rebound. My husband dropped her off at pre-school.

I picked her up this evening and we headed off to get Sam from the babysitter's house. Halfway there she said "I need a kleenex. I have a pea in my nose." I handed one back and kept driving. It was rush hour after all.

We got home, had dinner, played on the floor, and took a bath. Immediately after we got her out of the bath we were hoping to have her blow her nose so I wouldn't have to suction her with the aspirator. She blew and blew. I took a look at the Kleenex and mentioned to my husband that because it was so green maybe we shouldn't have taken her to daycare today. Green mucous = infection, right?

She blew harder. More green. And one more time. This time, a pea came out. She wasn't lying! There really was a pea in her nose! And I have no idea what day or time she stuck it up there. I was laughing so hard I was doubled over. My husband was trying so hard to keep a straight face it was the funniest thing I had ever seen, which contributed to my laugh attack.

There literally was a pea in her nose. I guess tomorrow I am going to have to ask the pre-school for a copy of the lunch menu for the last week to see if I can determine exactly what day this might have happened. And just one little note to self- I need to take my child a little more seriously. She does have a vivid imagination- you just never know when she might be telling the truth!

Children really don't lie

It all started about three or four days ago- I guess it was Sunday. Hayley woke up with extreme nasal congestion and when I walked out for the morning paper I could see that our entire street was blanketed in smoke from the wildfires in California.

We have run the kids humidifiers every night and have given them saline spray to no avail. Today when Hayley woke up she just didn't seem to be herself. First of all we thought maybe she had pink-eye because here eye was, well, pink. Although not all of it- and there was no gunk. We put in the precautionary drops and decided to keep her home from daycare.

By noon she was as rambunctious as ever, her eyes were perfectly clear and her nasal congestion seemed to be on the rebound. My husband dropped her off at pre-school.

I picked her up this evening and we headed off to get Sam from the babysitter's house. Halfway there she said "I need a kleenex. I have a pea in my nose." I handed one back and kept driving. It was rush hour after all.

We got home, had dinner, played on the floor, and took a bath. Immediately after we got her out of the bath we were hoping to have her blow her nose so I wouldn't have to suction her with the aspirator. She blew and blew. I took a look at the Kleenex and mentioned to my husband that because it was so green maybe we shouldn't have taken her to daycare today. Green mucous = infection, right?

She blew harder. More green. And one more time. This time, a pea came out. She wasn't lying! There really was a pea in her nose! And I have no idea what day or time she stuck it up there. I was laughing so hard I was doubled over. My husband was trying so hard to keep a straight face it was the funniest thing I had ever seen, which contributed to my laugh attack.

There literally was a pea in her nose. I guess tomorrow I am going to have to ask the pre-school for a copy of the lunch menu for the last week to see if I can determine exactly what day this might have happened. And just one little note to self- I need to take my child a little more seriously. She does have a vivid imagination- you just never know when she might be telling the truth!

My preschooler knows how to work the system

I'm fairly certain that in many homes the Mom is the person that has to lay down the law and the Dad gets to look like the innocent bystander. Our home is no exception. I mean, my husband will discipline Hayley if he is home alone- but if we are home together then usually he gets the "good" and I get the "bad" and the "ugly".

Case in point- Hayley is on this milk trip. In the past I have had to limit how much milk she was drinking because I did find a direct correlation between too much milk and eczema flare ups. Some of her worst were when she had three or more cups of milk a day- so I really had tried to limit her to only two cups of milk a day (don't worry- she had plenty of other dairy products).

Fortunately she has overcome the eczema- but now she wants milk all day long. While there is nothing wrong with giving her milk (she doesn't drink juice at all) I just don't like giving her fourteen cups of milk at night while tucking her into bed.

See, with both of my kids I have made the mistake of giving them a bottle right at bedtime. Don't lecture me- I know full well the issue it has created. It is now a sleep aid for both of them. Every single night Hayley needs her cup of milk when she gets tucked into bed. If the child would eat more dinner I would really try to lay down the law about the milk thing- but since she doesn't always eat dinner I do feel the need to try and fill her up with a litle something before bed.

The other night she had already had two cups of milk throughout the course of the evening so awhen I was saying goodnight to her and she asked for another cup of milk I said no. I told her she had a cup of water if she needed a little drink.

She turned to my husband, who was laying beside her reading her a story and asked "Can I have a cup of milk?". I was still standing right there so I told her no again. She looked at me, said "I was talking to Dada." Then she looked back at him and said "Dada, can I have a cup of milk?".

He was laughing so hard he had to pull the pillow in front of his face. She knew exactly who would give in. And he did. Because he doesn't like to fight about it and because he feels since she doesn't eat anything that if we don't give her milk she's just going to wake up hungry in four hours anyway.

It just cracks me up that she really does know how to work the system. I'm so scared for what is still to come if she already knows how to do this and she's not yet three.

There's Something About Sleep

We did not realize just how sleep deprived we really were until we got to go away in March for an extended long weekend without the kids. My sister in law came from Canada to stay at the house- bless her heart- and we slept three whole nights in a row.

We came home and the first night we were up with Sam all night we felt like we had been hit by a truck. It was super rough- and even rougher then because we knew just what we had been missing. Sam was six months old and was still waking at least once to eat- and was sleeping so restlessly (in our bed still) that it didn't matter- we weren't getting any quality sleep anyway.

Then my husband had to go home for almost a week and my iron resolve was that I would get Sam to sleep in her own bed. It took me four nights- but by the fourth night she was staying in her bed the whole night and only waking once to eat. Two weeks later she gave up the middle of the night feeding and it was heaven.

Until a few weeks after that when Hayley started waking in the middle of the night to cry for milk. I don't get it. She was two and a half. Why, oh why, can she not sleep through the middle of the night?

It has been happening ever since. I am not kidding when I say we maybe get one good night out of Hayley a week. Sam? Sam sleeps like a dream. Seriously. She never ever wakes in the middle of the night even though she is getting like fourteen teeth all at the same time. (And why haven't those teeth poked through yet? By the time they finally cut I think they are going to be adult teeth! But that's a story for another day.)

I honestly think we are the only people I know whose children just do not sleep. Well, I take that back, one of the girls that works for me was telling me a few years ago how her prechooler would get up every night and come to their bed. They were so tired they just let him in and he slept there every single night.

HA! I was such an expert then. (I mean, Hayley was all of like four months old and I just knew it ALL). I told her there was just no way that was ever going to happen in our house- we were going to lay down the law. We were going to Super-Nanny her right back to her own bed until she figured it out. We were never going to let Hayley sleep in our bed.

Ummm. Well, I have half that right. Hayley never does sleep in our bed. Instead one of us usually goes and lays with her in her bed. Incidentally- I'm happier now than ever that we opted to skip right over the toddler bed stage and right to a double bed- even foregoing the twin bed stage.

I am certain that us moving into this short term rental house has had an impact on her sleep habits as well- but honestly, there is just something to be said for sleep. I always used to say (when I was younger of course) "Sleep is overrated. I'll sleep when I'm dead." And at this rate- well, not getting any sleep just might kill me.