The Not-So-Divine Secrets of -Motherhood-

Rules for Road Trips

After having just driven twenty nine hours straight in a car with a two and a half year old and a nine month old I have decided to share the rules for road trips with you. You know, so you will benefit from my pain knowledge.

1. The first rule- there are no rules.

2. It is perfectly acceptable to allow your two ear old to stay up all night watching DVD's while you are on the road. Bedtime? Nonsense. After all, if you make them go to sleep at a reasonable hour who is going to keep you company at three am?

3. Beef Jerky for breakfast is A-OK.

4. Chewing peppermint gum in lieu of brushing your teeth for more than 24 hours is completely hygienic. I am sure there is a dentist out there that would recommend it if you ask the gum manufacturer.

5. The basic food groups are not meat, dairy, fruits/veggies, and grains. The basic food groups are sweets, chips, beef jerky, and Rockstar. You must eat a minimum of three servings from each group for every six hours  spent in the car to ensure that you have consumed a healthy road trip diet.

6. Don't bother organizing the contents of the car before you embark on your road trip. It is part of the excitement of a road trip to drive down the road after not sleeping for 24 hours with one hand on the wheel and the other hand submerged in the chaos behind the seat to locate the sippy cup your infant just threw over and now can't live without.

7. Whatever you do- DO NOT wash the bugs off your windshield at every stop. You will need them in the middle of the night to reaffirm your hallucinations that you see a deer on the side of the road ready to leap into the path of your speeding overloaded car.

8. Make friends with everyone at the truck stop. You will want to know who you are laughing at when they blow your doors off and then you pass them later as they are getting a ticket.

9. Close your eyes whenever entering a roadside bathroom. Don't open them until you are back in your car.

10. No matter how well you prepare or how many snacks you stuff into them your children will be over the thrill of a road trip within the first two hours. Buying them trinkets at every truck stop will only add to the amount of stuff you will have to clean out of the car after the trip. Save your money and just ignore their cries of boredom.

And finally- eventually it will end. You will arrive at your destination where you will likely consume large amounts of alcohol and hopefully build up enough energy to get back in the car and do it all over again to get home.

When exactly did I become her?

If I had a nickel for every time I said "When did those kids get so grown up?" I know I would have at least a handful of nickels. Maybe enough to roll them. But today I wondered, when exactly did I get so grown up?

I mean, it seems like just yesterday I was nine years old, it was summer time, and I was going around to all my neighbor's houses offering to sweep their porches for a quarter. I was a real entrepreneur. I knew in my right mind that no one was going to be so cheap as to only pay me a quarter- but neither could they turn down the good work ethic of a kid asking to do chores for twenty five cents. I made at least a buck per porch that summer- it was the equivalent of ten bucks an hour. In 1984. Not bad...

And then fast forward- I was in ninth grade. My best friend in ninth grade was a New Kids on the Block fanatic and I quickly became one too. We made prank calls to all the Subway sandwich shops in town asking if they would deliver. We found one with a hormone-driven sixteen year old on the other end who agreed to drive all the way over to our side of town after his shift. It was dangerous- and if I ever find out my girls are doing something like that I will, well, I don't know what I will do. But he wound up being a nice guy- and he could drive. We were only fourteen and he was sixteen- it was a big deal. My friend dated him and I dated his little brother- who was more age appropriate.

Minutes after that I was graduating high school- so excited to get out in "the real world". College was a blur- wasn't it for everyone? I got married when I was twenty four. A worldly, grown up twenty four.

I blinked and I became a mother. Time is moving at warp speed now and in just one brief moment I realized I grew up. I have responsibilities. I work full time, I am a manager and my staff depends on me. I have to make tough choices every day at work, sometimes I have to do things that I know my staff won't like or understand but I do them to protect my team. Sometimes that makes me unpopular.

I am a wife. I absolutely adore my husband and he and I couldn't be a better team. But my half of the responsibility to that team is keeping my household running. That means buying groceries, cooking dinner, paying the bills, doing the laundry, coordinating where we need to be, and when we need to be there.

I am a mother. This is the part that chokes me up. I am a mother. I am so grateful to be a mother- and yet tonight I think I finally realized exactly what that means. It means when I say I'm heading off to bed I check on my children first, tuck them back in, tidy up their rooms, and lay out their clothes for the morning. I love their sweet little sleep noises- and their peaceful expressions. I love their rambunctious moments. I ache for them when they hurt or are sick. It means that much like my job as a manager sometimes I will have to make unpopular decisions. Sometimes they will understand why and sometimes they will not. I will do everything I can to protect them, and also to teach them how to fly on their own.

You see, someday when they blink they too will realize they are all grown up. They will wonder when they became that grown up woman. They will be thankful for all of the opportunities they have had in their lives and they too will look forward to the many more experiences they have yet to see.

I hope to live more in the moment, so that one day I can look back and know that there wasn't an exact time that I became who I am, but more a combination of many times, and that I can remember all of my favorite ones.

Totally Random Friday

If you want some randomness you are in the right place.

My kids slept in today- until 6:15. That is awesome!

So far I have brought home about twenty boxes and have only packed one. It has taken me a week to clean out the closet in the office. Maybe moving isn't going to be as easy as I think?

Hayley fell off the chair that she was jumping on and bonked her head. Hard. She has a goose egg that keeps growing and growing so we are letting her stay up late to watch Max and Ruby. Hmm. Disobey the rules. Jump on the furniture. Fall off and hit your head. Get rewarded for it?

This time next week I expect to be sitting out on the deck at my in-laws house in Canada- hopefully wearing a sweatshirt in the cool evening air. With a frost adult beverage. And fifty eight aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and friends to help keep my children entertained. I cannot wait.

We haven't heard any news on the new house. Well, a little news- the seller's 2nd lienholder accepted the short sale. But that doesn't really help us because their first lienholder is Countrywide and apparently their reputation precedes them. It isn't good. I will not lie- I am not above resorting to bribery tokens of my appreciation (bundt cake?) to get things done. I just don't know where to send it- but if I find out, well I will drown them in bundt cake until they approve the seller's short sale.

Sam is eating people food. ohmywhendidshegrowup? She eats everything. I mean, everything. With Hayley we had to give her all the veggies first because once she had a taste of fruit it was game over. With Sam- just shovel it in. Any order will do, just keep the food coming. I love it.

Right now I'm hogging my husband's laptop. I don't think he appreciates my horning in on his nightly ritual of vegging on the computer in front of the tv. Especially since the tv is currently playing the second episode of Max and Ruby. In a row.

The baby blanket that I have been knitting is coming along nicely- I will post pictures of it once it is finished.

Oh yeah- and I ordered the cutest stinkin' bows from an Etsy shop- go check out Karina's Kreations. I got my order today and I love it, love it, love it. I ordered the headband with bow for my bald little Sam and she just looked so darn cute- she didn't even try to pull it off. Hayley wanted to wear one too- so I let her- and it fit her too. Which makes me very, very happy. It means that I can use it for one or both girls. It also means that Sam will be able to wear it longer than just the baby stage- and these days I am all about the multi-functional items. Go there. Buy something. She is so friendly, ships super fast, and the packaging was so darn cute- I will be ordering again very soon.

We don't have any plans for this weekend- except packing to move and packing to go on a ten day road trip. Which means we won't get any packing done this weekend for either and we will be scrambling both before our road trip and right before we move. Par for the course.

I need to quit rambling so I can turn over the computer to my husband and so that I can coax Hayley to head to bed before this episode of cartoons ends. Wish me luck.

Do You Believe?

Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

I do.

Today I showed our home to a potential tenant. Her name is my name. Her husband's name is my husband's name. It gave me the chills the instant I welcomed them- it was like it was just totally meant to be.

I felt so totally comfortable with them that I even told them I would consider moving out even before the new house closes. THAT should tell you how much I think of these people. Remember this? And how I swore I wouldn't consider doing that again? Right. So I told them that if the new house hasn't closed by August I really would consider moving into a temporary location while we wait for our new house to close- depending mostly on the information we get from the seller's bank before then.

Last night I showed our home to another potential tenant. They were willing to wait until mid to end of August for our home too- but they didn't give me the chills the way the tenant today did.

And just now I got another phone call from a military family looking to relocate here. I always get the warm fuzzies about military people because I know the discipline they live with on their jobs.

All three of these tenants are willing to sign extended leases- at least two years. I am just so...relieved. I mean, this is our home. This was not an investment property. We have put four years of love into this house- every shrub, flower, and tree were painstakingly planted by our own hands. We take pride in our home- as everyone does and we just want someone that will love our home and respect it as much as we have.

I am feeling very blessed right now to have multiple potential tenants looking at our home. I honestly thought that it would take a good two or three months and we would have to drop the rent just to get someone in here. I am just hoping that we will also get some good news from the seller's banks in short order. I mean, we have loan approval for the new home. We locked that loan on an extended lock already. We have tenants for our home. We are 100% ready to move- just one small glitch- don't have bank approval to purchase the new home yet.

I am going to have to remind myself that I do believe everything happens for a reason.

Everything I love about my husband

We have been married for nine years. Nine. And every single day I still find things to laugh about- things that I adore about my husbandd. There are probably so many that I couldn't even list them all. We are probably the kind of couple that makes you sick- we just have so much fun together. I can't remember the last time we argued. We have never had an actual fight. I am thankful every single day that my husbandd is who he is- and that he loves me for who I am. We aren't busy trying to change each other. I really don't know why we work so well together- he is an antagonist and I am a control freak. It's not up to me to analyze how or why we work- but I do want to tell you some of the things I love about my husband- since it is Father's Day Weekend and all.

1. He is the most amazing father ever and I find myself surprised on a daily basis. He has taken puke more gracefully than I ever could. I have found him attentively sipping from a teacup when Hayley wants to have a tea party. He has rocked baby dolls to sleep. He has quickly come to the rescue when minuscule spiders or flies have landed near Hayley and she is having a screaming fit.

2. He is a fabulous teacher- and not just because he has a teaching degree. He can teach anyone anything. It must have something to do with his endless patience (which I clearly do not have).

3. He has the best sense of humor- and his sense of humor really brings out the best in others. The girls at work all giggle at him- and so do I. His ring-tone for awhile there was "Sexyback" and if you know him in person, well then you know why we all get a chuckle. It isn't that he isn't attractive or sexy- it's just so unexpected coming from him. The funniest part was that when his phone would ring he would always let it get through the first line and he would sometimes do a little groove when it was ringing. I love that.

4. He does nice little things without asking for praise or recognition. Some guys want you to know the lengths they go to for you. He doesn't. For example I have not put gas in a car since before I had Sam. And honestly, I was so clueless that I didn't even recognize it until a few months ago. It was just that he would take whichever car happened to be on empty and fill it up. Who says chivalry is lost?

5. He knows just how to listen when I need him to. How to agree with me when I need him to. How to quietly show me that I need to calm down. He supports me in some of the craziest decisions (honey, let's buy another house!). He trusts me to make good decisions and he doesn't second guess me.

6. He is a tinker-boy. Is that offensive? To call a man a tinker? He can fix anything- and I mean ANYTHING. Right as I type he has just gotten out a plethora of tools to do I-don't-know-what but I know that once he is done it will be fixed. Of course, his downfall is that he doesn't usually put away the tools- but that is a character flaw that I absolutely love. He has fixed so many things that I have written off and planned to throw away- and in this economy I think it's important to get back to the days of fixing instead of the days of disposable.

7. He is an awesome gardener. I have a need for everything to be symmetrical and organized. We originally planted a planter box with rosebushes perfectly placed, palm trees strategically located, and fruit trees well thought out. I have come out to find miscellaneous stuff haphazardly growing- a palm tree right under a rosebush (because it was just a seed and he didn't think it would grow). Squash and peppers jumbled together in chaos. Pots with wildflowers shooting up over top of more palm tree seedlings that grew. I found a little gardening sign for him about five years ago and it is ever so appropriate "I don't remember planting this?". And that is totally him.

8. He has a better eye for picking out clothes for me than I have for myself. He says his secret is that he just looks for what the mannequin is wearing and he buys the exact same outfit-but I have tried that trick and I just don't think it works the same.

9. He surprises me every now and then by doing something at just the time when I need it the most. Maybe it's running the dishwasher. The other day it was that he remembered to put the roast in the crock pot after I had left for work and forgotten. Last night he rummaged in the freezer and found a lasagna and had dinner ready by the time I got home from my haircut. Sometimes it's picking up the dry cleaning that I have been too busy to grab for a week- without having been asked.

10. He is a good friend. Not only to me but to our other friends. He has given up Saturday's to help friends move. He has run errands when they haven't been able to get to them. He will do anything for them even if it means sacrificing something he wanted to do for himself. I love that about him. He is dependable. Trustworthy. People love him as much as I do. He takes care of my sister in town- he laid a tile floor for her (even if it took three years of her asking). He would help out anyone in need. I know just how much his family misses having him around because he was also their rock- but I am just so grateful to have him in my life. I am so happy that my friends and family adore him as much as I do.

There are so many reasons I love my husband. I can't put them all to words and I don't even really think I did him justice in this post- but I felt the need to say it. Happy Father's Day Sweetie- I love you!

Now THAT was a Firedrill!

I think I mentioned that we have an offer in on another house. We haven't heard anything from the sellers bank yet- so we really don't even have any sort of guess on when we could move but being the ultra-conservative plan A, B, C kind of girl I figured that we needed to list our house for rent sooner rather than later.

So Friday afternoon around 3:45 my realtor listed our house in the MLS- we didn't even have any photos online. I have been watching other rentals in our neighborhood and it seemed the going trend was that they were listed for anywhere from 60-90 days and then found renters at decreased rents. Neither was a prospect I was looking forward to.

Anyway- we listed the house on Friday and should I admit that I forgot about it? Until I got a call from a realtor at 10:30 Sunday morning wanting to show the house in two hours. We had company in town (thanks for the extra hands Kymmie!) but we said we would show it. And then we scurried about tucking things in dark corners and behind closed doors.

It turned out that the potential tenant loved the place. We talked business and told him we would take a lesser rent if they would sign a two year contract with an option for a third. They were my dream tenants. Only one catch- they wanted the place like now. So we settled on July 3rd as a possession date. OMG. What was I thinking?

I didn't sleep last night- running through the list of things that needed to be done for us to move out. Finish the backyard landscaping. Touch up paint. Schedule movers. Schedule someone to disassemble the pool table. Oh wait- here's one- find somewhere else to live! With two kids, two cats, and four thousand square feet worth of furniture. Pack- who can forget about packing? And we don't want to stay long- actually we don't even know how long we want to stay. Could be 60 days. Could be six months.

So today I made my list. I called movers. I scheduled someone to break down the pool table. I had my realtor calling on rentals. And around 3:30 this afternoon the tenant backed out. Ordinarily I think I would have been upset but honestly, I am quite relieved. I was so not prepared to move in fourteen days. I do not want to pay money to move twice. I am not even sure the short sale is going to get approved- and I would hate to give up my beautiful home and then have to go find one to rent for myself if I do move a tenant in.

But now that the firedrill is over I have learned a few things about preparedness. I had my realtor revise the availability date on our home to August 15th. I am bringing home a few more boxes from work. I am now a bit more confident that with the flurry of activity in just two days that we will definitely find a renter for our home in a timely manner. We'll see how things go over the next few weeks. Hopefully we will have some good news- both from the seller's bank for the home we are in contract for and with regards to finding a tenant for our home.

This One's for My Sister

It's tough being the oldest of four. It's tough being the oldest, period. Our parents expect more of us because we are the oldest. We know that we are being held to higher examples so our siblings will have someone to follow. I can't speak for all oldest children but I can say that I felt the need to be more and do more because well, I was the oldest.

I mothered my sisters their whole lives- and not because we didn't have a mother. I was told over and over again by our mother that she would take care of them- but I guess because I am the oldest, maybe because I am a Virgo, and maybe it's just because that's who I am- but I still felt the need to protect them and watch over them.

I'm a tough love kind of girl. Don't come to me for a sympathetic shoulder because you are not likely to get one. I'm going to tell you to "(wo)man up" and deal with it. I am a realist- which in my mind is neither an optimist or a pessimist. I call it like I see it- whether that's right or wrong is irrelevant.

I think because of my hard core approach my sisters tend to shy away from telling me their problems. And I do feel bad about that- because I wish that I could make myself more approachable. But I also want so much for them that I just don't want to see any of them go through heartache, heartbreak, or loss.

So when my baby sister finally admitted that they were struggling my heart immediately went out to her. All of my sisters make me so proud- but she is especially close to me because she works for me. I just didn't know what to say or do to help her. They had to find a new place to live- and in short order. She told me about how they found a house and put an offer and I gave her the third degree by asking why they offered full list price with no request for seller concessions. She told me that they would want/need to paint and replace carpet before moving in and I asked her why the carpets couldn't just be cleaned.

This went on and on. Apparently they looked at over 60 properties. They made offers on like ten or twelve of them. Every one of them was "the one" and every time she came to tell me about how the house hunt was going I told her to thicken up. I remember one day she was crying in my office- the emotional toll had gotten the best of her and she could take no more. I don't recall my specific response but I knew immediately from her body language it was the wrong one. I asked her what kind of reaction she had been expecting from me and she told me that she didn't know but that she didn't expect it to have been so harsh.

And so I have been working really hard at trying to soften my approach. I'm still tough love. I'm still a realist- but I am trying hard not to say out loud what I might really think. Want to know why? Because I guess maybe I finally get it. We are in the midst of our own emotional home buying experience.

This was the first home we looked at. We offered list price. (we did however ask for a seller concession). We knew exactly what we were getting into with it being a short sale- and honestly the longer it takes the more we benefit. By that I mean that if it takes four more months to close that is four more months we have to save some money, and the value of the property could potentially decrease more between now and then which only benefits us as we will get a decreased sales price.

However I now completely "Get" the paint, flooring, repairs thing. Originally when we looked at this house the reason we were so sold was because it really is move-in ready. I mean these people took such good care of this home that they even took the care to get the nail holes repaired and repainted in the home before it was shown. Who does that anymore? Especially if they aren't going to get any more money out of it for their extra efforts? So when we looked at it there were like four rooms that would need carpets replaced before we moved in- but I figured we could leave the rest until we had more liquid funds. And as far as paint went- I wasn't worried about that at all.

Yet here I am- it seems the longer we wait the more I come up with that I want fixed before we move in. If we are going to replace a few rooms of carpet, shouldn't we just do them all before we move in? If we are going to paint the girls rooms before we move, shouldn't we just get them all painted? Since we are going to put in flooring, why waste money by putting in carpet? If I want to put in wood floors or tile floors in some rooms, shouldn't I just do it all now? We have plantation shutters in the girls rooms now- and their new rooms have blinds, but shouldn't we just get the shutters put in before we move in so it will be one less thing to worry about? The kids rooms in the new house have wallpaper- and although it is cute wallpaper I don't dig it enough to keep it. So since we are going to have to strip wallpaper shouldn't we just put up wainscoting like we did in Hayley's room already? And shouldn't we just do that before we move in?

So to my dear baby sister and her partner- my deepest apologies. I get it. I mean, I really get it. I will try in the future to be more sympathetic to the cause. I will try not to whine and gripe about my own situation but if anyone comes to me in the future looking for a shoulder you might find that it has gotten softer than it was previously.

The Great Unknown

I might not be around much in the coming weeks- and then again I might be around more often than I think. We put an offer in on another house on the 9th of May. The seller is doing a short sale (they owe more on it than it is worth- who doesn't?).

It's been a fairly emotional rollercoaster already and we are only a few weeks into the deal. We don't know if the seller's bank is going to accept the offer. We don't know how long it is going to take. We don't know if we are going to be able to find anyone to rent our current home since we also owe more than it is worth. Ahh, The Great Unknown.

So in the mean time we are in Super-Economy-Mode. (Which is even harder than Economy-Mode). We know it is going to take money to move, money to fix up the things in the new house that we would want fixed. Money to furnish the new rooms (basement!) that we don't already have in this house. Money to maybe pay two house payments if we can't find someone to rent this one right away.

It's actually all a very scary prospect. I have been wondering if it is too bold of a move right now- in our economy. I have been wondering if by doing this we will be sacrificing some of the things we love the most- like little weekend trips here or there. Or just splurging on the girls when we see something we know they will love.

But then I think again about it- we have the opportunity to move into a home with a basement and a backyard so big that we can put in that dream swingset (can we afford it anymore?) that we have been talking about since Christmas. Each of the girls will get their own attached bathroom in the new house- something I feel will be extremely handy in their tween and teen years. The new house has a perfect spot to plant a garden- and not just one that grows in between rosebushes in a planter box. The new house has a three car garage instead of the two car garage that we have. And did I mention the basement? Lots of storage down there for all the Christmas stuff so it doesn't clutter up that new garage. The new house has a playroom- PLAYROOM I am telling you instead of just a toy closet. The new house has a gigantic concrete patio in the backyard where the girls can write with chalk, ride their bikes, learn to roller-blade. It has a basement, did I mention that?

It's tough not to get excited about it. I've already mentally moved in. I'm decorating it in my head every single day- when I check out the photos on the MLS again and again. It's even harder just really not knowing if/when the seller's bank will approve the short sale. It's equally as hard to watch that while they are inundated and moving slow the rates are not moving slow- in the span of time since we put in the offer our rate has moved up by half a point.

And in the mean time- regardless of whether we do move or not I am trying to clean up closets, corners, and piles of stuff. We have mountains of it. I am listing stuff on E-bay and Craigslist every weekend. I am calling charities to bring trucks (more than one!). So if you do wonder where I am- you are likely to find me buried under a pile of stuff, sorting it- this one goes to E-bay, this one goes to Craigslist, this one goes to charity, this one goes to trash.

I will try to make time to blog and read blogs. And I will definitely keep you updated if when the seller's bank accepts our offer and we have a timeline on moving. Don't worry if you are one of my local friends- we won't punish you by asking you to help. (Dad). If anything we might just ask you if we can bring the girls over to your house so we can keep them out of the way of the movers. So I guess we will just wait and see. If it is meant to be, well then it will be. Everything will come together- the seller's bank, the financing, the timing. And if it isn't meant to be then we will just have to dream about that house in the desert with a basement- kind of like an oasis that disolves when you get too close.

Too Young to Lie

I love the innocence of very young children- the ones that are too young to know how to lie yet.

We have two ten year old cats. I used to work for a towing company and we once impounded a car from a not-so-nice part of town. The problem was the abandoned car contained six baby kittens no more than a few days old. They still had their eyes sealed shut and their umbilical cords attached. We begged the driver to go back and look for the mommy cat but he said he was lucky enough to get out with the car the first time and he sure as hell wasn't going back.

We called the animal shelter and they offered to come pick them up but they would put them to sleep because they weren't able to eat on their own and the shelter didn't have any foster families available. I didn't even know there were foster families for animals!

And there is a sucker born every day. Usually it is me. I took all six of these things home, bought tiny bottles and kitten formula and raised these things the good old fashioned way- feeding them every two hours and wiping their little bums like a momma cat would. Two of the six got very sick and died despite very expensive trips to the vet so I held the remaining four very close to my heart. I kept two and my mom and sister each took one of the others.

Needless to say these cats really don't know they are cats at all. I used to tuck Allie in the pocket of my bathrobe and carry her around while I was getting ready in the morning. My husband used to let Chomp sleep on his chest while he lay in the recliner watching tv. (Until they both hit sixteen pounds).

They were completely spoiled until we had children. For six years they were pretty much the Queens of the House. If they wanted to lounge in the sunny spot on the floor they did so.

Unfortunately Hayley came and really shook their world up. They are constantly on guard now and Allie (who was never truly a social cat even before Hayley came), well Allie barely ever makes it out of the bedroom anymore. Hayley loves to try and pet the kitties even though sometimes she gets a little too close for their liking and they hiss. Chomp is pretty mellow and it takes quite a bit for her to spook but Allie, we just leave her alone.

Last night I found Hayley in my closet (Allie's Lair). Hayley said "Mommy, the kitty yelled at me." (Hissed)

Me: "Really? Why did she yell at you?"

Hayley:"I kicked her."

And there you have it. Give it two more years and there will be some fabulous explanation instead of the plain and simple truth.

Updated Pictures

I realized the other day that it's been at least a century since I have posted any photos of the girls. They have both grown so much you might not even recognize them.

 

Dada and Sam about six weeks ago?

 

Sisters. Aren't they cute?

 

Happy Mother's Day to me.

 

Sam is crawling now and walking will be next.

 

Dada and Hayley

 

And last but not least- another beautiful sunset. This photo is straight out of the camera- I promise. Just took it last night.

Fathers Day is Coming

If you are like me you probably have no idea what to get your husband for Father's Day. It's tough- the guy has everything. The kids aren't yet old enough to make him a gift (although Hayley is getting good at making cards and pictures). So I was really happy when Beth did the homework for me. You've gotta check out her suggestions.

In the mean time I went ahead and ordered this for my husband- I think it will be the perfect place for him to put his watch and wedding ring every night. If you want to order one you better hurry up- you need to order it by tomorow (May 31st) to get it in time for Father's Day. It's an Etsy shop- The Brick Kiln. Go there. Check it out. Order one. They even have them available with more kids, less kids, you name it.

 

Not Even Sure if This is Appropriate to Blog About

It's just so darn funny I have to blog it- although I am not really sure if it is even appropriate. Although I guess anything goes in blog world so I'll share anyway.

I have said it before- the things that kids say are just so classic. I told a story about my friend and her daughters once before and I said that I couldn't wait until I had my own stories- and now I am at that stage and I just love it.

Last night I was putting Hayley to bed. We have a routine- we read a story, we turn on the bedtime CD, and we lay together for one song. (OK- lately we have a giant bedtime battle which includes laying together for most of the CD and then her getting out of bed every two minutes for another hour after that- but that's to talk about on a different day).

She has this newest thing about sharing a pillow, which means that she snuggles so close to you her hair tickles your nose and it's all you can do to try and lay still for a few minutes hoping she will relax enough to go to sleep.

We were sharing a pillow and I was laying there with my eyes closed listening to Baby Coldplay. (By far the very best nighttime instrumental CD ever). I felt a little tiny hand rubbing me and I hear her say "Mommy, I rub your boobies?".

"Umm, no, I don't think you should rub my boobies".

"I'll just pat them then?"

"No, you don't need to pat them either."

"I'll pat them, NICELY?"

"No thank you, even nicely I don't need you to rub or pat them."

"Ok"

Don't you just wonder what is going through the mind of a child?

Potty Training is fun?

So last summer we thought Hayley might be potty trained before the new baby got here. When we were on vacation in Canada she told us every time she needed to pee- and we went several days in a row with her going potty on the big potty.

Then we came home. You know how the rules are always out the window while you are on vacation? I guess they also have reverse effect when you get home. She didn't really care to tell us anymore about going on the potty and we really didn't push her as she was not yet even two years old.

Sam came early and our lives were tossed upside down. Potty training was the furthest thing from my mind and really, since I went back to work in January has not really been a priority. I mean, usually she will tell us when she needs to poop but she really could care less if she wears a pee diaper all day.

So for the last week we have been making a concerted effort to teach her to recognize when she needs to potty and to go before it happens. For the last two days she has told us she needs to pee- but after we do the mad dash to the bathroom we discover she has already gone.

I took her to Costco this afternoon and in the middle of checking out my overflowing order she told me she needed to pee. DILEMMA! Do I tell her it's ok to just pee in her pull-up or do I figure out how to get her to the bathroom in time? And does she really need to go or has she already gone?

Fortunately for me- all the planets were aligned and the stars were shining down on me because there was no one else in line behind me at the checkout. I had already swiped my credit card and the checker told me to go ahead and go while she finished my order. I grabbed Hayley like a football under my arm and made a mad flip-flop wearing dash to the ladies room. There was one stall open- hurrah- but there were no paper seat covers- oh no! I hastily covered the seat with teepee and plopped her down. I had to hold her hands as she has this thing about gripping the seat and well, it was a public restroom. I think she got shy bladder because all of a sudden we had nothing. We tried singing. Talking. Silence. Nothing.

I got her all put back together and went to locate my cart full of groceries. Then I was worried she was going to pee the pull-up the second I got her in the car so I drove home like a madwoman and ran her in the house where to my surprise she did pee on the potty.

Oh the joys.

Not So Divine Secret Number ?

It has been so long since I have even posted any of my revelations about motherhood that I don't even know what secret number this would be.

I find that before I was a mother it all appeared so cut and dried. Your child misbehaved, you disciplined them. Your child's face was dirty, you washed it. You were serving spaghetti for dinner, they ate it. You were going out to eat, you changed their clothes and combed their hair.

HA! I don't know if I could have been further from the truth! So yes, my child misbehaves, and I discipline her. But in my wisdom of motherhood I have learned that you choose your battles. Sometimes I do choose to overlook that little tantrum because I know that I am going to need my strength and resolve for the next one- a much bigger one. Before I had kids I really had no concept. Everything for me was very simple.

My kids faces get dirty- and I wash them. And wash them. And wash them. Sometimes their faces are dirty and I don't wash them. That doesn't mean I don't love my kids. It doesn't mean that I don't care. It means that at some point I have to let them be children- and that means that there is going to be a little smudge here or there. It's ok.

Ahhh, the dinner thing. Or lunch. Or breakfast. My child is a picky eater. It is not because I did not offer her a variety of foods as a baby nor is it because I am only forcing my favorite foods on her. It is just her. She just has likes and dislikes. Granted, my husband worries that if we don't offer her something she WILL eat that she will starve. I beg to differ. I offer lots of things I know she likes to eat- she just doesn't want to eat them right that moment so I am not going to chase her around running through the list of the ten items she will eat until she settles on one. If she is hungry enough she will eat. Maybe that will be what I am serving, maybe not. But I am not going to prepare special meals for her separately from ours. And that's alright too.

The last one- we go out to eat so we change their clothes and comb their hair. Where do I start with this one? Meal time in my home is not a peaceful time. Ever. It's always a battle. It's too close to nap time or bed time. They are hungry before I can get the food on the table. They are distracted. So going out to eat for us at this stage in their lives, while possible, is not usually pleasant for us. For example, we went to IHOP for breakfast for Mother's Day. I did get the girls dressed and got Hayley's hair combed. I even got my own hair combed (imagine that!). But it took me an hour and a half just to get us out the door. And then breakfast got cut short because it was nap time, Sam bonked her head on the table while sitting in the high chair and Hayley wanted nothing to do with her own breakfast. Oh the joys.

Honestly, the most Not-So-Divine-Secret about Motherhood is that nothing is ever as it appears. It will be different for every single mother out there- and that's ok too. There is no real rule book. Your rules are your own. Once you figure out that you don't have to live up to anyone else- and that you can even modify your OWN rules as you go- then you will realize just how much work fun it all really is.

Dear Samantha,

May 16th, 2009

Dear Samantha Jayne,

Tomorrow you will be eight months old. Eight months. You have grown into the most beautiful, smiley, happy, mellow baby and I am just so glad to see that.

Honestly, the first six months were pretty hard. We just couldn't seem to keep you happy- I think you had reflux pretty bad and have now fortunately outgrown it. You eat like crazy and must have a pretty good metabolism. Once you started eating baby food three times a day you finally started sleeping through the night- although now you are getting two teeth at once so your sleep is interrupted once again.

My dear child, everything you have done is to your own beat. You decided to come at 34 weeks 1 day even though Mommy tried to keep you safe- and you were a fighter. You have defied the odds that Mommy was given- and those were that you would be developmentally behind for much of your first year. So far we haven't seen any of that! You were rolling over around five months, sitting on your own around six months, and here we are at eight months with it looking like you are going to crawl any day. You are "scootching" already. You are getting two teeth at the same time- but they are top teeth instead of bottom teeth first.

You smile so much now that everyone comments what a happy baby you are. You are trying to learn to wave. And chase your sister. You don't like sitting around for very long- you are always trying to get up and go. You want to be a "big girl" and yet- my dear sweet baby Sam, you do still let Mommy hug you, kiss you, and carry you around. I am cherishing every single moment of that because I know all too soon you will be that big girl and those moments will be few and far between.

You weigh about sixteen and a half pounds- not bad for a baby that was born at five pounds three ounces. You are longer and leaner than your sister was at your age- you have been wearing size nine month clothes since you were six months and now you are already bumping up into twelve month clothes in some things!

Sam, Mommy loves you more than you will ever realize. Thank you so much for blessing our lives.

Love, Your Mommy

 

Rules for the Men's Room

My husband and I work together. I know, call us crazy. We haven't killed each other yet and we have worked together for most of the last ten years. I love it. Maybe he does too, maybe he doesn't.

At any rate, the restrooms in our office at work are not labeled men's or women's. You just know because if you choose the door on the right has a urinal out in the open and only one stall. The door on the left has two stalls. Oh, and by the way, for whatever reason in a commercial office the doors don't have spring hinges on them- you have to physically close the bathroom door before you go in the stall. In the past we had a small staff and the rules were unspoken. The men usually closed the door to their bathroom because, well, the urinal was out in the open. The women usually left the door ajar when they went in unless they were doing the stinky stuff and then the closed door meant that you should enter at your own risk.

Our staff size has basically tripled in the last few months and we have also added another male to the office. That brings the total to three and boy do I ever feel sorry for them sometimes. Twenty one people in the office and only three men.

Apparently a few days ago one of the ladies was using the mens room and one of the men came in (how dare he!). It startled both of them although she was located in the stall with the door to the stall closed. She had assumed because she closed the door to the mens room that no one would enter. Ha! So my husband wrote up and posted the rules for the mens room at the office and with his permission I am reprinting them.

Rules for the Men's Room Use:

1. You may close the door but there is no guarantee of privacy- we do not knock, nor will we ever.

2. If you do take your chances in using The Men's Room polite conversation may occur while we both do our business.

3. Please leave the light and FAN on when necessary- you know who you are!

4. Feel free to utilize air freshener can, no more than 2 quick blasts- we do not want people thinking we have a flower shop back here.

5. If reading material is over 48 hours old please consider leaving updated material.

6. Please limit stall use to 3 text messages or 3 email messages.

7. If anyone has an extra plunger at their house we could use one here from time to time.

8. Coupons on the calendar are free for anyone to use.

9. Don't always use the good toilet paper- use some scratchy stuff too. (No, really, are we being punished for something when they order this stuff?)

10. Now wash your hands extra well and get back to work!

I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth

In case you were wondering, I really have not fallen off the planet. I am still around- just strangely silent. We have had company for the last week so of course that has taken up some of my time.

I just have hit a very uninspired period lately. There is only one thing that I have felt very motivated about- and that is a knitting project that I have thrown myself into. It still cracks me up that I am totally into knitting- I mean, I always thought knitting was for little old ladies. One day I will learn not to stereotype.

So back to my knitting project. I think I have mentioned - but just in case I haven't- when Sam was in the NICU someone had donated a handmade quilt to the NICU and it was draped on Sam's isolette and her basinette while she stayed there. It was maybe the one thing that seemed even remotely "baby" about that sterile environment and even for me it was a small source of comfort. Some NICU's allow you to bring your own baby items in - but for sterile purposes mine did not. So they accept donations instead- if you want to donate a blanket to them they will wash it and let you use it but then they keep it.

At the time I did not really have any blankets I wanted to part with but I swore that one day I would donate one back. I just wanted it to be really, really special- not just a blanket that I picked up at the store. So it turns out that I went back to work in January and one of the girls that was hired while I was out knits. She brings her projects to work and knits every day in the lunch room. I was fascinated. I think she thought I was nuts- but I begged her to teach me how to knit. I am such a beginner that I still only know how to knit, knit, knit. I haven't yet tried any projects that have knit and purl to them- but that's ok.

I found a baby blanket pattern online that involves only the knit stitch- so I ran right out and got all the supplies. I started the project two weekends ago and I am about a fifth of the way through it. I have made a few mistakes here or there- but honestly as I am watching the blanket grow I just know that donating it to the NICU is exactly what I am meant to do.

I am still around. I haven't spent much time on the computer lately because my hands are deeply involved in knitting this blanket. I will try to blog more often because I really do have lots of other things going on so check back again soon!

Queen of the Unfinished Projects

That's right, I am without a doubt the Queen of Unfinished Projects. As a matter of fact, this post is a testament to my royalty. I started this post three days ago. I finally decided this morning I was going to finish it.

What kinds of unfinished projects could I be talking about? Hmm. Let's see, we moved into our house almost four years ago (I can't believe it's been that long) and I still haven't finished decorating it. It isn't even as if I finished one room and just haven't finished others, no, every room is in some state of incomplete. While I was out on maternity leave I swore I was going to finish it. I bought two candle sconces for the dining room wall and called it quits. Let me not even go into the fact that the landscaping in the backyard is still not complete. Although I should mention- my MO is to finish the landscaping in the backyard and then put the house up for sale and move so I am sure my husband has left that walkway incomplete for a reason.

I have boxes and boxes of sewing that has yet to be completed. Some boxes contain projects where the patterns have been cut out and partially sewed but then set aside. Others contain patterns and fabric matched together but not yet cut. And even still others contain fabric, or patterns, thoughts left unfinished. I do have one whole box of fleece where I was planning on making blankets for Mrs. M and her family to send for Christmas- just never got around to edging them.

My newest obsession has been knitting. It just takes me away in ways that other things don't. Sometimes I have to concentrate on it. Sometimes I can just knit, knit, knit and it is just idle time while watching a tv show. I am a beginner- and by beginner I mean I barely know how to cast on and cast off by myself but I have already made four scarves and I am on to a baby blanket that I intend to donate to the NICU in Sam's name.

So when you sometimes wonder why I don't post for a week at a time- don't give up hope. Keep checking back- I will be back online. My blog is still my biggest unfinished project and I will keep coming back to it. Hope you do too!

For the Record

I just want to be sure I set this straight. For the record, I did tell my husband what happened.

I would never, ever want to intentionally disrespect my husband. If he feels like we are done having children and I feel we have room for one more then it means we have some talking to do. If we can't come to some sort of compromise then it means we would have to agree to disagree and let it be. But I would never, EVER not use birth control on purpose to trick him into having another one.

It's just that it has really been weighing on my mind. How could I possibly have forgotten that I was not on birth control. No, really. REALLY. How could I have forgotten that it had been eleven days?

I write this with mixed emotions. There are so many people out there- friends of mine even- that want desperately to have children. And I have two. I am thankful every single day and based upon the almost two years that it took us to get pregnant with Hayley I do realize that I am blessed to even have two. I just think I want one more. And not to be greedy by wanting one more- but feeling a little protective of the two that I have- wanting them to have more. This isn't all about me- this is all about my children and the lives they will lead.

So the last three days I have spent really reflecting. Having another baby would mean alot of things. It would mean giving up coffee, which some days is the only thing that gets me moving. It would mean not lounging by the pool with any adult beverages. It would mean more sleepless nights. More diapers. Possibly renovating my home to accommodate another bedroom. Giving things up- like trips to the Coach store. A few more wrinkles. Some more gray hair to cover up. It would mean there would be no man on man defense. It might mean there is always one odd man out.

It would also mean more snuggles. Kisses. Little voices saying "Mommy, I am so glad you are here!". And "Mommy, I love you soooo much!". It would mean that if one child gets in trouble and the other is not permitted to hug them that the two siblings of the one in trouble could get on either side of the trouble maker and squish them in between so they would get a hug without anyone knowing they are hugging the offending party. (Incidentally- that is something my mom said we used to do when my baby sister was in trouble).

So, is the book closed on this? Maybe. Maybe not. I did convince my husband to go for number two- and in just the nick of time I guess because I convinced him to try at the end of the summer and we found out two weeks later that apparently there were other plans for us. We'll see. I don't believe there is any likelihood that I would be pregnant so please don't think that I will be making any grand announcements in two weeks. But I will say that the fear of what could have happened does ring loud in my ears and it has gotten me thinking.

And for my parents that read my blog religiously but asked so innocently the other day if we are done- the answer is, "We'll just have to see."

 

Hey, that bee swiped my grape!!

There are so many things about having children that just make life worth while. Little moments- like when they first smile at you. Big moments- like their first steps.

Funny-but-not-so-funny moments- like when they tell you they are going to wipe a booger on the door of your new car.

Funny moments like when a bee lands on their snack and they yell "Hey, that bee just swiped my grape!". And if you have watched enough episodes of Dora you will know that Swiper is always swiping something. Your two year old just "got" it.

My children make me smile every single day. Some days it is through gritted teeth, but still I am smiling. Not a day goes by that I don't tell a story in the lunch room about my children, and I am so happy to be able to do so. But still I am left chuckling at the bee swiping the grape. Classic.